Penny meets Santa!!

Oh Yes! I took Miss Penny to see Santa......Lords knows what I will do next!


Happy Hump day!!

Monday always sucks.....

But my weekend double sucked! Some of you who read my blog may know that I have Fibromyalgia, if you did not know...Now you do...So to make a long story short it really really sucks, but after 6 years of having this crap I have learned to deal with it. To help control some of my pain I take low doses of medications and get lots of sleep. Lately I have not been sleeping well and thus having more pain. So I head off to my Doctor. He decides that maybe my meds have stopped working so he adds a med at night and changes another night time med. This worked well for 4 days. I started feeling yucky on Friday afternoon and by Saturday I was pretty sure I was dying Woo Hoo Lucky me!! So after some searching on the internet I realize I am in withdrawals. Within 2 hours of taking my old night time med, I start feeling human! Oh the JOY!

The internet is a great tool, but what I found while searching for symptoms of withdrawal from a medication was alarming, I was shocked that when I clicked on a link that sounded just like the information I needed, I was taken to a site that sold the same medication out of the US! No prescription needed!!!! Its like it set up for people to abuse prescription drugs, and that just not right! I just do not see how this can be legal.

Hope you all had a better weekend, and hears to a better week!

Update!!

I have spent my morning updating my Blog roll. I have been gone for some time and it seems that some people have moved or just vanished! I hope you will all visit Hope for Taylor and send her and the family prayers or if your not into prayers just some good old fashioned thoughts!

I had a weird thought this morning. How is it that you can be sober in a room full of drunk people and they slur their words so bad you can hardly understand them, but if your in the same room and drunk like the others you can understand every word they say???!!!

So what to you think the reason for this is? Is it some kind of special language that only drunk people can understand?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this one!

Penny has no thoughts on this one, but I'm sure she would love to hear you thoughts on her new Polo shirt!


Have a super weekend!

FYI

Ok............. people this is just a friendly reminder that it is NOT and I repeat NOT ever ok to put your child in the Microwave or any other major appliance that you may have!!


Thank you for your time!

Your prayers are needed!!

For this very special little young girl and her family!!!
Please visit Taylor Parkers Blog !
http://taylorparker.blogspot.com/

I know I have been MIA for awhile now, but I hope to be back to posting soon again!

For my kids...

I will protect you at any cost...I will do my best to keep heart break from ever touching you and when it does I will be there to hold your hand until you can stand on your own again. I will do my best to keep fear out of your life and when it creeeps its way in....I will be there for you. I will protect you from all the harm I can.......I will always be there for you, in everything you do and everything life throws at you. For you are my life and I would stand in-front of all who try to harm you..............and I will always be there to hold your hand......for you m sons...I will love you forever!!!!

Grandpa

09/19/1914-10/16/2006
I will miss you forever Grandpa!

Penny update!

That sweet little puppy I brought home has turned into a huge puppy! Here she is showing some love to Lucky!

Anger Issues!

Yep I have them! Saturday night I was out with some friends drinking. I know drinking is bad....but fuck it! So anyway here comes this guy, with my sister to top it off, with a T shirt that says I'm not Mr Right but I'll fuck you until he shows up! So I proceeded to tell him off and have his ass kicked out of the bar. I wonder how many women find that kind of advertising appealing? OK...Besides my sister. I found it totally offensive and told him just how I felt.

I guess I can't be freaking Mary Poppins all the time!

See Ya!

That just sucks!!!

I had a really great post for today....And then I forgot what it was!!!

If I remember it I will be sure to post it..

Have a super day!

No wonder I'm so pissed off all the time!

I suppose my last post left some questions in your minds. Well imagine how I feel! I have spent many years seeing a counselor. He has been there for me when I felt life was out of control. The problem is I bounce in and out of counseling. I never seem to complete the task I have set for myself. Usually he will say something that either upsets me of pisses me off. So I stop going. The last time I went he explained to me how I was the forgotten child in my family. I refused to believe this. How could my family who loves me forget me? Sure my dad was an alcoholic, was mother is co-dependent. So what’s the big deal?
Forget me and leave me to raise myself, I laughed it off. Now his words ring true for me and I finally understand parts of it. Some parts I am still trying to figure out. I think I have done an ok job on the raising me part. I’m independent, have no addictions and have a good job. My kids are great, no real problems there just the normal teenager stuff.

I know the road ahead of me will be rough, but it’s a road I have traveled before, and in the end I know I will be ok. I love my family and I know they love me in the only way they can.

I'm still here!

For those of you that have asked. I just feel I am at a turning point in my life and am at odds at which way to turn. I'm content with my life, just bored with it! I look at myself in the mirror and see and older woman and I know its me. I have to question is this all there is to life?

Thats about all I have to say!

Finally Done!!!!

The new roof is done! Well almost some of the flashing still needs painted, but I happy with it! I really hope this solves the small raining problem in the house and the nice bats that used to live in the attic!!



I did this new floor in the bathroom! Its not a perfect job, but it will do!

Day# 3

WOO HOO!! I have finally got some shingles. I think it looks awesome. I have been putting new flooring in my bathroom and that is harder than I thought it would be. All I have left is around the toilet and I hope to get that done today!!




Have a super day!!

I got wood!!

Day #2 is complete and I finally have wood!!!
I know its just so exciting!!!!



Can you find me in this picture?



I could not leave you with out a Shot of Penny! She is now 4 months old and weighs 22 lbs!


Hope you all had a super Tuesday!

My top is off and I feel so exposed!!!

Day #1 is complete. Tomorrow the will replace the rotten boards and lay the plywood!

A new day!

Today is a new day, and I believe anything can happen. Over the weekend I was finally able to tell a certain person (#54 in my 101 list) how I felt and close that chapter in my life and today it feels like a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders. He has moved on to a new relationship, I wish him the best and I hope he has a lifetime of happiness with her.

In other news.....The day has finally come!! They are starting my new roof today!! After much rain and many delays!! I am so excited! So here is a before picture. I will post updates as the week goes by!

Have a super Monday!!

Long time no post!

Seems like forever, but I suppose not. I have not posted lately due to my lack of interest in life.

I seem to have slipped into a deep depression and am having a hard time coming out of it. So I have done what I normally do...Worked myself sick...So I feel a need to vent, please bear with me I need to get this out!

I'm angry at you Dad because most of my life you where not there for me and when you finally sobered up and realized it.....it was almost to late...........And then you had to die on my birthday.

I'm angry at you MB because I loved you and when I told you goodbye you took the one thing you wanted by force...You had no right to violate me.

I'm angry at you RH because you are selfish and did what was most comfortable for you, and did not think about the hurt you caused the kids.

I'm angry at you BJ for thinking that you are so great when you are drunk.

I'm angry at you UB, because you can not even get you lazy ass here to see you father before he dies....I know you will be the first one with his hand out when he does!

Ok, I feel better......I need to go cry now................

Have a Happy 4th of JULY!!!

I'll wave to all of you, as you leave
when it's time for you to go.
As you sail from sea to shining sea
take the colors of your home.
Take me with you, wherever you go
keep me in your heart each night.
And if you forget what you're fighting for
remember me, in flight.
Take me out to the battleground,
and then tear me into shreds.
Wrap the bleeding wound with me,
and bind the aching head.
Plunge me into coldest water
to soothe the fevered brow.
Tie me across the shattered limb,
I'll support it now.
Let me dry the homesick tear,
and hold closed, the gaping chest,
for here, in the field, where hope is lost
I am at my best.
And then, burn what is left of me,
for warmth into the night.
So I may bring comfort, where there is need
and courage, for the fight.
My red is deeper, for the blood you've shed.
My white is purer, for your pain.
My blue will be bluer than the deepest sea
when you come home again.
Then I'll rise to the top of the flagpole,
where my colors are always flown,
and from there, when the war is over
I'll wave, to welcome you home.

Sprinkler Time! *updated*

Behind my home is a park. It was once a school yard that I attended as a child. In the summer my youngest son and I would work in the back yard and wait until the sprinklers came on in the park and then we would run in them to cool down. We did not care who watched or what they thought.

He is 13 this year. Do you still think he will run in the sprinklers with me?

Happy Hump day to all!!

A Dogs Life!

Today I will smile more, stress less and have a happy day!

Home!

The best part of traveling is coming home!

Vegas was Vegas....Hotter than hell, but then its hot at home too, but its diffrent!

So I'm gonna kick back, relax and enjoy my weekend!

Have a great one!

Word for the day

What is defeat?...

Nothing but the first step to something better

Wendall Phillips

If this is true my life should be fucking great!

So maybe I'm in a pissy mood. Its my mood and I'm keeping it!

Ok so here is a new picture of Penny. But I'm still in a pissy mood.

I'm off to Vegas.....I'll have a great time at my fucking meetings but at least I'm close to Margaritaville!!! Thank GOD for Jimmy Buffet!

Happy Fathers Day!

Happy Fathers day DAD! I miss you and I love you!

???

I have not posted for awhile.......Life has kept me very busy. My new roof is still not on yet. It has begun to really piss me off! The contractor I picked came highly recommended, so this delay after delay is just not right. July 10th is the new start date and if they delay it again, I will hire someone else.

My grandfather is still in the resthome and his biopsy results came back and they think he has lymphoma. So while what every monster is eating away his memories the cancer will eat away his body. I pray he is not in pain and the end comes peacefully for him.

Well I'm off to clean up more puppy poop and them its work all weekend for me. I have a ton of bookwork to complete. Then I'm off the Vegas next week for business.

Have a super weekend!!

How Sweet!

Here is Penny at her finest! Like I have said before her favorite chew toy is my arm. But I have found the answer!!! Those really hard chew bones for dogs! She has already eaten 2 and I plan to buy a whole case. Apparently English Bulldogs are very aggressive chewers! Now if I could just get her to poop on the puppy training pads I think we will be just fine!

Sleepiness nights!

Yes I have had a few lately. I find myself waking up at 3am or so and can't go back to sleep. It really sucks on work nights. Weekends is better for sleepless nights cause you can always have a nap the next day. It got better for awhile but it seems to have come back.

I went shopping yesterday and cried all the way home, not because I spent too much money, but because I knew I would stop and visit my Dad on the way home. I have been avoiding going there and knew I had to buck it up and just do it. So as I sat by his grave, I gave myself away to a good healthy cry. I guess I half expected to ground to be turned up from my father spinning in his grave over the recent events caused by my step-mother. I guess I have not mentioned all the legal crap that's going on. It just my father had a living trust set up and things where going great. We all agreed that Dads wishes should be carried out as stated in his trust. Where it all went haywire, I have no clue.

My Grandfather is still in a resthome and has good days & bad days. My step-Grandmother does not want him to return home because having 24 hour home care is a violation of her privacy. He is her husband, if my husband was old and ill and I could spend every minute we had left together I would not care about my privacy. I would care about my husband, and its his ranch, which he worked so hard to farm. He wants to go home.

I just do not get it. We are not asking for everything, just some of my father family things, photos and such. We went last Sunday to my dads place to put some things in the shop and my step-mom called the police. She has life estate in the home, which we did not enter, but the rest of the property now belongs to my sister she has every right to be there. Its what my father wanted. Yet we are treated like criminals.

I made a promise to myself yesterday as I sat by my fathers side, that I would do everything within my power to save my boys from having to go through this kind of hell.

SHIT!

I mean real shit! How much can one small puppy shit?! Don't get me wrong, I love Penny to death....But For The Love Of GOD!!!!!! Shit on the puppy training pads! Is it too much to ask!

So my mom talks me into buying this book titled Cesar's Way. She saw this guy on some TV show and " he just works wonders with dogs, he is a Dog Whisperer!" So last night I settle down to see how I can relate to Penny on a canine level. All is good...Until Penny decides to bark her cute little head off until I pick her up and place her in my bed, now back to the book...Wait Penny NO! Do not chew on my arm! NO! I get up and get her one of her many chew toys, back to the book it starts out good stating I need to let Penny know who is boss.....Wait Penny NO! Do not eat the book!!!! Needless to say I'm only on page 4 of the introduction. The back pages are not too badly chewed, just the cover a little. I will try it again tonight, but I might just say hell with it and let her eat the book if it keeps her from chewing on my arm!!!

Adventures in Space!

No I have not been to the moon! I'm talking about MySpace. I created a profile thinking it would be like blogging here...Boy was I wrong! Its just a free on-line hook-up site. I had married men email me! The only good thing was I reconnected with some family members, so it was not all a waste of time. I just deleted my profile and came back here, where the conversation is much more interesting. I hope you can all forgive me!!

Have a super hump day!!

Word for the day!

There is only one road to true human greatness:

through the school of hard knocks.

Albert Einstein

I graduated with honors!

Happy Mothers Day!

Had to share some new pictures with all of you!

Have a great weekend and a Happy Mothers Day!!

OMG!

Please tell me its not true!!! Even though I watched it myself, I still can not believe that Chris is gone from American Idol! Who in their right mind would choose Taylor over Chris. I'm in total shock right now. It is just so freaking unbelievable!

I think I need the day off!!!

She is finally here!

Penny arrived this morning at the airport and had a safe flight. She is just beautiful and has taken to our family well. She even had a little romp in the sprinkler!

I spent the week in Las Vegas on business and am so glad to be home. I took my sister with me and we had a great time. It was her first trip to Vegas and she won $1000 right as we where leaving the hotel for the airport. I was so excited for her. I came home $500 ahead so not a bad trip.

My grandpa is getting stronger and I hope we can have him back at his ranch soon.

Hope you all have a great weekend!!

Grandpa Update!

Well, as of yesterday my Grandpa walked, with the aid of a walker 75 feet!! He is eating and drinking, and getting stronger. They have stopped giving him morphine and he seems to have come somewhat back to reality. As soon as he is strong enough, we are going to get him back to his ranch so he can be home and happy!

Thanks for all your support!

Have a great and wonderful week!

Just to let you know, I have not dropped off the face of the earth. I'm still alive and kicking.

My family has been taking up much of my time. My Grandfather is now in a rest home and it has broken my heart. He wants to go home, but my evil step-grandmother does not want him there. Its his ranch, he wants to die there. So he has chosen not to eat or drink. He will not keep his IV in, which at this point is the only thing keeping him alive. He will not take his medications. We have done all we can to explain to him that in order to go home he needs to do what the doctor wants, but his mind is going to another place. It kills me to see him suffer so.

Well I'm off to visit my Dad, his headstone is finally in place, and I need to see him.................

Long time no post!

Been sooooo busy!!! Looks like spring has finally sprung! Thank God for that!



Penny is now almost 6 weeks old and almost ready to make the flight out to California! We are so excited to welcome her as a new addition to our family!

Speeking of new additions Below is my oldest son newest addition.





My oldest son has been shopping for a new truck and here it is! Its a beauty!

Hope you are all enjoying the great weather!

Have a super week!!! Ot at least whats left of it!

I hope your day is filled with family and friends!!!

Assorted Babble: BEWARE Peophiles, Child Molesters-The Blog World is Watching#links#links

Assorted Babble: BEWARE Peophiles, Child Molesters-The Blog World is Watching#links#links

I have linked this post from Suzie. I feel it is very important that we do as much as we can to shut these sites down. Yes I believe in free speech, but this is just wrong!!!!

Busy!!

Long time no post!

I have been super busy. My Grandfather had to go to the hospital this weekend. It was scary. He is 91 and starting to be forgetful. He injured his back and was having muscle spasms. He is home and resting. I know he is old and will eventually pass, but I am not ready for that. I'm still missing my Dad real bad.

Yesterday was really sucky! Over the weekend we had our cube at work expanded.....bigger cube & a raise....I'm moving up!!! So yesterday I tried to turn on my computer and I got *gasp* the BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH! My hard drive is shot and will need to be replaced. I know..it sucks big time. You do not realize how much we rely on computers until your is gone!

Hope you all have a super Tuesday!!

Guess what??

I'm expecting!!!

A baby you ask?

Hell no......

My fellow bloggers, I would like to introduce you to Penny. Penny is 4 weeks old and currently lives in Oklahoma. She is an English Bulldog and will be totally spoiled in my home.
Check out Blackfork English Bulldogs. You can see Penny and her brothers & sisters.

Have a super weekend!!!

Happy HNT!

Happy HNT!

Life is just that way!

Life is turning back to normal after last weeks small detour. It feels great to just sit and enjoy the evening.

Thanks for all your kind words.

Been gone!!

What's the easiest way to cure your own pain? Have your child call and say he is in pain.

The call came Wednesday about 3pm, as I rushed over there feeling not my pain but fear for my son. I hoped it was just the flu that myself and his brother had both had. But when I say the look on his face I knew it was more than that. So after 2 trips to two different hospitals my son had his appendix removed Thursday night. He is home and resting and I am finally back to work!

I will post more later when I have time.

Have a super Monday and I hope you did not forget to move your clocks ahead 1 hour!!

Why?

Day 3 of my flu, I'm starting to feel better but the illness has caused my FMS to flare big time. I don't often speak of my illness here because I choose to ignore it and it makes it better for me. But while battling a common flu turns into a major fight, I feel the urge to bitch just a little.

Fibromyalgia is a nasty thing to have. There is no cure and no proven treatment that's works 100%. Trust me I have tried them all.

Fibromyalgia Syndrome (FMS) is often called the "invisible disease," because outwardly, we may look perfectly healthy. Inside though, we may have intense pain throughout our bodies, we may be constantly fatigued and weak, we may be dizzy, confused, lacking sleep, suffering digestive disorders, and generally living a poor quality of life. There is no known cure for Fibromyalgia, but there are ways to treat the symptoms, to improve that quality of life.
FMS is a type of neurotransmitter disorder, in which the pain-signals that our brains receive are intensified, and our muscles do not get the healing nutrients they need. The current diagnosis is usually made by a Rheumatologist who will find 11, or more, "Tender Points" on your body.

I have had this illness since 1998 and generally deal with it well. I refuse to take pain meds and rely on mediation and basic meds to make it through each day. Somedays are better than others. Today is a bad day, I'd much rather be at work instead of sitting here in pain. Sometimes the pain is so bad I lay awake and cry and wonder why. Why me? No I'm not looking for sympathy. Just venting, and it does feel good to vent!!!

Ok I'm done bitching. Have a super hump day!

EEEWWWW!!!!

I have the flu and it sucks! My whole body hurts and I think I my die soon..........I have not been able to eat since Sunday night. I'm getting lots of rest and drinking fluids and they are finally staying down, so I must be getting better. I sure don't feel better.

Hope you all are having a better week than me!!

When I count my blessings,

I count you twice.

Irish Proverb

Live in the present.
Do the things that need to be done.
Do all the good you can each day.
The future will unfold.



Peace Pilgrim

Have a super weekend!!

Half Nekkid Thursday!

Happy HNT!

Life is just that way!

I have been so busy. I just have not had the time to blog or even have a moments rest. So tonight I'm resting. Until American Idol comes on! Yes I'm hooked...Thanks Tina!!! Spring has arrived and brought many changes. I just wish the weather would clear up so I could get some yard work done. I have been shopping for a new roof, and hope it will be up or should I say on soon. Then I am putting in a new fence!! I can't wait. My dog is going to love it!!

Work has been ok...Its travel time, which sometimes can be fun and sometimes a pain. This month both of my trips have been ones I can drive to. That makes it so much easier, unless its snowing!

My youngest son turned 13!!! He is a teenager now! What the hell am I gonna do?!!!! I suppose I made it 13 years rasing him alone I have to just keep on keeping on!

Hope all has been well with you.

I'm still hanging in there!!!

DO YOU REMEMBER A TIME WHEN...

Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-moe"?
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "Do Over!"?
"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest?
Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening?
It wasn't odd to have two or three "Best Friends"?
The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was "cooties"?
Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot?
A foot of snow was a dream come true?
Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute commercials for action figures?
"Oly-oly-oxen-free" made perfect sense?
Spinning around, getting dizzy, and falling down was cause for giggles?
The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team?
War was a card game?
Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle?
Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin?
Water balloons were the ultimate weapon?

If you can remember most or all of these, then you have lived!!!!!!! ..the perfect age is somewhere between old enough to know better and too young to care.

Pass this on to anyone who may need a break from their "grown-up" life .. I double-dog-dare-ya

You

You called today. The sound of your voice instantly brought me to tears, because I knew there are hundreds of things I want to say, but I'm afraid. So I took the only road I know and was not kind. I'm sorry....I don't know why I do it........

Word for the day!

Any intelligent fool can make things bigger,

more complex, and more violent.

It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction.

Albert Einstein

Half Nekkid Thursday!

I know its lame, but this is all I have!!! I have been so busy. I hope to get back to my regular posting soon!!

Happy HNT!

TGIF

The best things in life are nearest:
Breath in your nostrils,
light in your eyes,
flowers at your feet,
duties at your hand,
the path of right just before you.
Then do not grasp at the stars,
but do life's plain, common work as it comes,
certain that daily duties and daily bread are the sweetest things in life.



Robert Louis Stevenson

Have a super weekend!!!

I forgot!!!

Happy HNT!

???????????

Far Away Lyrics

All The Right Reasons :Nickleback

This time,

This place

Misused,

Mistakes

Too long,

Too late

Who was I to make you wait

Just one chance

Just one breath

Just in case there’s just one left

‘Cause you know, you know,

you know

That I love you I have loved you all along

And I miss you

Been far away for far too long

I keep dreaming you’ll be with me and you’ll never go

Stop breathing if I don’t see you anymore

On my knees, I’ll ask

Last chance for one last dance

‘Cause with you, I’d withstand

All of hell to hold your hand

I’d give it all I’d give for us

Give anything but I won’t give up

‘Cause you know, you know, you know

That I love you I have loved you all along

And I miss you

Been far away for far too long

I keep dreaming you’ll be with me and you’ll never go

Stop breathing if I don’t see you anymore

So far away

Been far away for far too long

So far away

Been far away for far too long

But you know, you know, you know

I wanted I wanted you to stay

‘Cause I needed I need to hear you say

That I love you I have loved you all along

And I forgive you

For being away for far too long

So keep breathing

‘Cause I’m not leaving

Hold on to me and never let me go

If you had that one last chance to make a wrong right.

Would you take it?

No matter the outcome?

Music....

gives wings to the mind,

a soul to the universe,

flight to the imagination,

a charm to sadness,

a life to everything.

Plato

Half Nekkid Thursday!

Happy HNT!

Family Dinner

Tuesday nights my family gets together and has dinner. My mother decided we should do this after my dad passed away. Sometimes we go out, sometimes we take turns cooking. I was going to pass on dinner last night but decided it was what I needed to do. So I cooked Scampi for my family! My mother and I even broke out the Miluakee's best and shared some of that nasty stuff. My mom and I seldom drink, so one was enough for us.

Which brings me to another point. Some people assume that just because I own a bar, I must be a heavy drinker. This makes me mad, coming from a family of alcoholic's I pride myself that I did not fall into this trap. Why do people do that?

So tonight I will start back into my exercise routine. I have decided to fight my depression instead of letting it take me down.

Have a super Hump Day!!

Sick!!

I spent my 3 day weekend sick with a cold!! It seems like it will never end. I did manage to get the house clean and do laundry. So now I am at work and I feel like I was robbed of my weekend. It sucks!

The high light of my weekend was picking out my dad's headstone. Ok I admit I am depressed. I really do not post about my private feeling on here, but the depression has grabbed hold of me and I can't shake it. I am no stranger to it, and usually I can handle it. It just feels so overwhelming right now.
I find it easier to hide from the world, put on the happy smiley face, so you can't see my pain. I'm tired and I just want to sit and cry!

TGIF!!

Three day weekends.....got to love them!!!

Have a super weekend!!

Half Nekkid Thursday!

Today I want to hide from the world................

OMG!!

Guess what I got for Valentine's Day?!!!!!!

Give up??!!!!

I actually received one of those heavy breather phone calls!!!!

That kind of stuff scares the shit out of me!!!

I hope you all had a better V day!

Have a super hump day!!!!