Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Warning Labels

1. On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair)

2. On a bag of Fritos: "You could be winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
(Evidently, the shoplifter special)

3. On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how...?)

4. On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost."
(But it's *just* a suggestion)

5. On a tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not turn upside down."
(Oops, too late!)

6. On bread pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
(As night follows the day....)

7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save even more time?)

8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after
taking this medication"
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get
those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(One would hope)

10. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to what?)

11. On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
(I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

12. On peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts."
(NEWS FLASH)

13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: Fly Delta.)

14. On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company, I blame parents for this one.)

15. On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Was there a chance of this happening somewhere?... Good grief)

16. On a bottle of Palmolive Dishwashing liquid: "Do not use on food."
("Hey Mom we're out of syrup! " - " It's OK, honey! Just grab the Palmolive! ")

17. On a tube of Crest Toothpaste: "If swallowed contact poison control."
(Oh please have you ever heard about someone dying from swallowing a little
toothpaste?)

18. On a bottle of ALL laundry detergent: "Remove clothing before distributing in
washing machine."
("Hey, no more swimming in the washing machine, kids!" - "Aww, you mean we have to
use the swimming pool? ")

10 comments:

art said...

I bought a Toro self propelled lawnmower that had a warning not to use it on the roof or to trim hedges!

Rat In A Cage said...

An avalanche of proof that the human race is the most overwhelmingly stupid species on earth.

Funny.

Assorted Babble by Suzie said...

These are hilarious!! Loved the blowdryer and iron...also #8! I could go through each one with a laugh! Love this post.

I finally started cutting the warning labels off pillows, dryer, etc. WTF, why all these yrs have I left them on? Good old common sense will tell you the warning signs. Like do not drop your A/C radio in the bathtub. (LOL)

Great Post Jill!! especially your comments! (smiling)

Karen said...

Those are a crack up!! You know that they were written because people actually were dumb enough to try them. LOL

badgerbob said...

#17, why I know this, I don't know. Say that one to yourself 5 times.
If a toddler was to eat a tube of toothpaste, the flouride would kill him within hours.

MacManus said...

#15 is my personal favourite...gotta love those Sweds and their genital obsession huh!?

Schadeboy said...

As was mentioned by a previous comment, these things are needed because people have tried to sue the companies because they didn't have the warning labels telling them (the people) not to do them.

It's the whole "McDonald's Coffee" thing. I bet the people who caused these warning labels to be necessary took their training from rabbits and birds.

I love these, though. I'm going to keep my eye out for funny warning labels from now on.

Austintacious said...

I like the first one. WTF? How do ou fall asleep blowdring your head? Obviously someone did, that's the real shame of it...

The Lone Rangers said...

LOL great, don't know how I missed them. I post stupid quotes once a week on my site.

Very cool site!

elvira black said...

LMAO! I remember how terrified I was of the pillow labels that said something like "DO NOT REMOVE UNDER PENALTY OF LAW." Not that I wanted to remove them, but it scared me for years. I finally got over it...when I was about 35 or so.