Wednesday, November 16, 2005


#1...Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

#2..Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is no money in the account?

#3...Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billionstars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

#4...Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

#5...Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

#6...Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

#7...Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

#8...Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

#9...Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

#10..If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

#11..Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

#12..Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

#13..Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

#14..Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

#15..Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?

#16..How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

#17..When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

#18...Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

#19..In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

#20..How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

#21..If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try it like your wife told you to do it?

#22..And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up sky diving!

And my FAVORITE......

#23...The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then its you.

Have a happy Hump Day!


Karen said...

OMG, those are a riot. #23 is my favorite too.

Happy hump day to you too!

Osbasso said...

I've got an answer for #11!

Assorted Babble by Suzie said...

Now I need the answers....(smiling)

Love them...thanks for reminding me of how stupid I have been...touching paint, etc. LOL

BipolarPrincess said...

That was awesome!

:* Princess

MamaKBear said...

LOL...I had to laugh at the vaccuum one...I've done that! Don't ask me why...

Romeo Jensen said...

why do they have locks on the doors of 24 hour conveince stores?

why is the word abbriviation so long

why do pretty women like jill read the crap guys like me blog about LOL

king of the blondes

madman said...

#23 --I admit it--I am ill!!

Dick said...

That was greatness! I laughed until I hurt.
Thanks girl, it was needed.

wopanese said...

I think my 3 friends and I have 12 sane other friends

Thomcat said...

i know the answer for #7 !!! He stops the bullet so it won't hit Lois Lane. He wants to keep her around for tail. But he lets the revolver fly by him to knock her out so she'll stop bitching and yelling.... am i right ?