Monday, September 26, 2005


How To Shower Like a Woman:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper
according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to
do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long
loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo
with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner
enhanced with real passion fruit. Wash your face with crushed
apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mould spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower and stand on bathmat.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel
on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up
any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man:>> >
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed
and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her
making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse
them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and
surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse
butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bathmat.
Dry off forearms and butt only.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch
water fly off.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and
fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her
and make the 'woo-woo' sound again. Throw wet towel on bed.


blue1aqua1 said...


Tony N said...

Hey, I resemble that remark. LOL, just kidding. Like your blog.

TheSugarV said...

Whoa I went into happy land when you said take off clothes

Karen said...

ROFLMAO!! That was so funny, thanks for the laughs!

Bud said...

That is so damn funny!

badgerbob said...

Funny as hell. Perfectly described.