Friday, January 20, 2006

Woo Hoo!!

Its finally Friday! My only problem is that is 4:30 am and here I sit at my computer. I really have not slept all night for some time now. I was thinking last night would finally be the night I slept....WRONG!!!

My son and I have both have had a cold for weeks. We both seemed to be getting better. Well at 3:30 am my son wakes me up in tears with an ear ache! So today I take my son to the doctor. Spend the day stressing about him. We'll watch movies and play games if he feels up to it. I have a feeling he will sleep most of the day.

As for work I have been really not been all the enthusiastic about my job lately, maybe its the grieving the loss of my father I don't really know. Maybe I'm just tired of the B.S. I enjoy a challenge with my work and the everyday mundane work bores me to death.

I was hired to help the company I work for get caught up on their audits. We have completed 4 years in the 2 I have been there. They where a tad bit behind...Don't ya think! Well things are up and running and I guess I'm feeling bored. I suppose I still have that wonderful software conversion to keep the challenge up.

I still miss my dad every day and end up in tears every time I pass his house on the way to work and then again on the way home. I pass this off as allergies! I hope it gets easier with time. My step-mom has freaked out. She always had been somewhat unstable mentally, but she made my dad happy and that was all that mattered to me. Her father passed away 1 week after my dad. So she has been hit with a double whammy! My sister is a mess because she has to handle my fathers trust. I have told both my parents Do not put my name on anything cause I don't want to deal with the crap. But now I have to help my sister so what's the difference?! I fear she is on the edge.
Its a fucking mess!!! I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep until its all over.....I know I can't do that...But it sure sounds good.

I have rambled enough!

Hope you all have a great weekend!!!!!

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

I hope everything works out, you, your son, etc.... I hope peace returns to your life soon...

se7en said...

Sorry to hear you're going thru so much heavy stuff, sending good juju your way!

Try to have some fun this wekend!

hugs!

8)

Anonymous said...

Jill ~ I so understand the job blahs - hit me really hard after mom died - never really got back into it afterwards. I think it was the realization the things were mundane and excruciatingly repetitive. Career change for me!
Have a good day with your boy - hope you are both better soon.
Happy weekend! :)

Karen said...

*HUGS* I imagine you'll grieve for a long time, the tears are healthy. I wish you didn't have to lose your dad.

Have a good weekend and get well - and your son too.

mikster said...

There is no time line for grieving....have a great weekend!

Assorted Babble by Suzie said...

Jill, I am so sorry! I wish I knew what to say to help. People say with time things get better, but I don't about that. I lost 5 dear friends back to back...and I still find myself tearing up. That is nothing like losing your parent.

Hopefully you can get some sleep very soon...please keep your faith and look up for guidance. That strength will keep you going. God Bless you.....

Bud said...

Nothing like the death of a loved one to put the rest of the world in proper perspective. I hope you and your son get well soon. Have a good weekend, Jill.

BTExpress said...

I'm still trying to settle my late wife's affairs and it's been over 3 months. It does get easier though, trust me on that.

Anonymous said...

you have my every sympathy jill...my dad passed away when i was 16, and it still gets to me now and again, be glad about the time he was here...as with everything it is about TIME...you've seen my blog lately, so you know you're not on your own...take care darlin...xxx

Unknown said...

Hope you feel better. Colds are the worst. I feel for ya.

Dick said...

The only thing that'll help is time.
It won't make the pain go away, but it'll dull it a bit.