Happy 2007 !

It is my hope that this year will be better than the last. I turned 43, made it through the holidays with out my Dad and Grandpa. For me that was the biggest part. I feel that I can start fresh in the new year as old wounds heal and new memories are created.

Life goes on!

Penny meets Santa!!

Oh Yes! I took Miss Penny to see Santa......Lords knows what I will do next!


Happy Hump day!!

Monday always sucks.....

But my weekend double sucked! Some of you who read my blog may know that I have Fibromyalgia, if you did not know...Now you do...So to make a long story short it really really sucks, but after 6 years of having this crap I have learned to deal with it. To help control some of my pain I take low doses of medications and get lots of sleep. Lately I have not been sleeping well and thus having more pain. So I head off to my Doctor. He decides that maybe my meds have stopped working so he adds a med at night and changes another night time med. This worked well for 4 days. I started feeling yucky on Friday afternoon and by Saturday I was pretty sure I was dying Woo Hoo Lucky me!! So after some searching on the internet I realize I am in withdrawals. Within 2 hours of taking my old night time med, I start feeling human! Oh the JOY!

The internet is a great tool, but what I found while searching for symptoms of withdrawal from a medication was alarming, I was shocked that when I clicked on a link that sounded just like the information I needed, I was taken to a site that sold the same medication out of the US! No prescription needed!!!! Its like it set up for people to abuse prescription drugs, and that just not right! I just do not see how this can be legal.

Hope you all had a better weekend, and hears to a better week!

Update!!

I have spent my morning updating my Blog roll. I have been gone for some time and it seems that some people have moved or just vanished! I hope you will all visit Hope for Taylor and send her and the family prayers or if your not into prayers just some good old fashioned thoughts!

I had a weird thought this morning. How is it that you can be sober in a room full of drunk people and they slur their words so bad you can hardly understand them, but if your in the same room and drunk like the others you can understand every word they say???!!!

So what to you think the reason for this is? Is it some kind of special language that only drunk people can understand?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this one!

Penny has no thoughts on this one, but I'm sure she would love to hear you thoughts on her new Polo shirt!


Have a super weekend!

FYI

Ok............. people this is just a friendly reminder that it is NOT and I repeat NOT ever ok to put your child in the Microwave or any other major appliance that you may have!!


Thank you for your time!

Your prayers are needed!!

For this very special little young girl and her family!!!
Please visit Taylor Parkers Blog !
http://taylorparker.blogspot.com/

I know I have been MIA for awhile now, but I hope to be back to posting soon again!

For my kids...

I will protect you at any cost...I will do my best to keep heart break from ever touching you and when it does I will be there to hold your hand until you can stand on your own again. I will do my best to keep fear out of your life and when it creeeps its way in....I will be there for you. I will protect you from all the harm I can.......I will always be there for you, in everything you do and everything life throws at you. For you are my life and I would stand in-front of all who try to harm you..............and I will always be there to hold your hand......for you m sons...I will love you forever!!!!

Grandpa

09/19/1914-10/16/2006
I will miss you forever Grandpa!

Penny update!

That sweet little puppy I brought home has turned into a huge puppy! Here she is showing some love to Lucky!

Anger Issues!

Yep I have them! Saturday night I was out with some friends drinking. I know drinking is bad....but fuck it! So anyway here comes this guy, with my sister to top it off, with a T shirt that says I'm not Mr Right but I'll fuck you until he shows up! So I proceeded to tell him off and have his ass kicked out of the bar. I wonder how many women find that kind of advertising appealing? OK...Besides my sister. I found it totally offensive and told him just how I felt.

I guess I can't be freaking Mary Poppins all the time!

See Ya!

That just sucks!!!

I had a really great post for today....And then I forgot what it was!!!

If I remember it I will be sure to post it..

Have a super day!

No wonder I'm so pissed off all the time!

I suppose my last post left some questions in your minds. Well imagine how I feel! I have spent many years seeing a counselor. He has been there for me when I felt life was out of control. The problem is I bounce in and out of counseling. I never seem to complete the task I have set for myself. Usually he will say something that either upsets me of pisses me off. So I stop going. The last time I went he explained to me how I was the forgotten child in my family. I refused to believe this. How could my family who loves me forget me? Sure my dad was an alcoholic, was mother is co-dependent. So what’s the big deal?
Forget me and leave me to raise myself, I laughed it off. Now his words ring true for me and I finally understand parts of it. Some parts I am still trying to figure out. I think I have done an ok job on the raising me part. I’m independent, have no addictions and have a good job. My kids are great, no real problems there just the normal teenager stuff.

I know the road ahead of me will be rough, but it’s a road I have traveled before, and in the end I know I will be ok. I love my family and I know they love me in the only way they can.

I'm still here!

For those of you that have asked. I just feel I am at a turning point in my life and am at odds at which way to turn. I'm content with my life, just bored with it! I look at myself in the mirror and see and older woman and I know its me. I have to question is this all there is to life?

Thats about all I have to say!

Finally Done!!!!

The new roof is done! Well almost some of the flashing still needs painted, but I happy with it! I really hope this solves the small raining problem in the house and the nice bats that used to live in the attic!!



I did this new floor in the bathroom! Its not a perfect job, but it will do!

Day# 3

WOO HOO!! I have finally got some shingles. I think it looks awesome. I have been putting new flooring in my bathroom and that is harder than I thought it would be. All I have left is around the toilet and I hope to get that done today!!




Have a super day!!

I got wood!!

Day #2 is complete and I finally have wood!!!
I know its just so exciting!!!!



Can you find me in this picture?



I could not leave you with out a Shot of Penny! She is now 4 months old and weighs 22 lbs!


Hope you all had a super Tuesday!

My top is off and I feel so exposed!!!

Day #1 is complete. Tomorrow the will replace the rotten boards and lay the plywood!

A new day!

Today is a new day, and I believe anything can happen. Over the weekend I was finally able to tell a certain person (#54 in my 101 list) how I felt and close that chapter in my life and today it feels like a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders. He has moved on to a new relationship, I wish him the best and I hope he has a lifetime of happiness with her.

In other news.....The day has finally come!! They are starting my new roof today!! After much rain and many delays!! I am so excited! So here is a before picture. I will post updates as the week goes by!

Have a super Monday!!

Long time no post!

Seems like forever, but I suppose not. I have not posted lately due to my lack of interest in life.

I seem to have slipped into a deep depression and am having a hard time coming out of it. So I have done what I normally do...Worked myself sick...So I feel a need to vent, please bear with me I need to get this out!

I'm angry at you Dad because most of my life you where not there for me and when you finally sobered up and realized it.....it was almost to late...........And then you had to die on my birthday.

I'm angry at you MB because I loved you and when I told you goodbye you took the one thing you wanted by force...You had no right to violate me.

I'm angry at you RH because you are selfish and did what was most comfortable for you, and did not think about the hurt you caused the kids.

I'm angry at you BJ for thinking that you are so great when you are drunk.

I'm angry at you UB, because you can not even get you lazy ass here to see you father before he dies....I know you will be the first one with his hand out when he does!

Ok, I feel better......I need to go cry now................

Have a Happy 4th of JULY!!!

I'll wave to all of you, as you leave
when it's time for you to go.
As you sail from sea to shining sea
take the colors of your home.
Take me with you, wherever you go
keep me in your heart each night.
And if you forget what you're fighting for
remember me, in flight.
Take me out to the battleground,
and then tear me into shreds.
Wrap the bleeding wound with me,
and bind the aching head.
Plunge me into coldest water
to soothe the fevered brow.
Tie me across the shattered limb,
I'll support it now.
Let me dry the homesick tear,
and hold closed, the gaping chest,
for here, in the field, where hope is lost
I am at my best.
And then, burn what is left of me,
for warmth into the night.
So I may bring comfort, where there is need
and courage, for the fight.
My red is deeper, for the blood you've shed.
My white is purer, for your pain.
My blue will be bluer than the deepest sea
when you come home again.
Then I'll rise to the top of the flagpole,
where my colors are always flown,
and from there, when the war is over
I'll wave, to welcome you home.