J's Ramblings

My first handmade card!

2008-07-07T19:06:00.000-07:00

I just love the way this turned out! Close to MY Heart has a product called Liquid Glass! I love this! you can put it on anything and it will dry clear! I used that Spiral clip and added some beads, applied Liquid Glass and let it dry. It appears that the beads are floating! I also used CTMH acrylic stamps for the card! It was so much fun and so easy!

Happy 4th of July

2008-07-03T06:11:00.000-07:00

I want to wish everyone a early 4th of July. My son & I are heading out of town for vacation.

As I mentioned in my last post I have been Scrapbooking and have found out there is so much more you can do with paper. I made this great 4th of July container! It can be used for many things. This on will hold I gift for my son's girlfriend!

Have a super 4th...be safe!!

What a Life!!

2008-07-02T10:18:00.000-07:00

I have been just so busy...I forgot how to blog!!

I recently started Scrapbooking because I needed a new hobby....and boy did I dive right it. Its like an addiction! I have bought so much stuff I ad to turn my office at home into a scrapbook area! I even signed up as a Close to my Heart Consultant! Thats right!! Now I have 3 jobs! I just started so be patient with me. I will post some of my work as soon as I actually finish a project!

I am really excited about my new adventure. I placed a link in my side bar>>>>> It will take you to My web site there you can browse the new catalogs, see training videos, get new ideas for your scrapbook pages & cards and even place an order online!

Have a super day!!!

Why?

2008-05-18T09:29:00.000-07:00

It has been a very emotional week in our small town as we have been trying to come to terms with the violent murder (yes I said it). No one wants to say that Steven was murdered, they just say he is gone. The truth is Steven was murdered along with his girl friend Jennifer, by the hand of another 18 year old boy. Not just two young lives but three have come to an end by the jealous rage of Reyes Carrillo, after hearing the news of his sisters death, Jennifers brother Billy was driving home to be with his mother and crashed his truck and died.

My heart goes out to Steven parents & Jennifers mother. I can not even begin to imagine the horror and grief they must feel.

Steven was taken from this life on May 11, 2008. He was born Oct. 12, 1989, in Chico to Dan and Denise.

Steven was a senior at Willows High School where he was a popular student, played lead trumpet in the band, and was a member of the Willows Honkers football and golf teams.

Steven was a dedicated Boy Scout, achieving the highest rank of Eagle Scout in December, and continued to be a mentor for younger scouts. He enjoyed all things outdoors and lived his life with an open mind and heart. Steven was a very loving and caring young man who was generous and giving with his family and friends.

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

A new chapter..

2007-12-18T20:13:00.000-08:00

Today I feel as if and old and I mean really old chapter in my life is finally closed. I took my first step into my fathers house since his death, almost 2 years ago. It has been a long and unnecessary legal battle, that at this point I don't even care to think about. I just know in my heart that its over, and I did my best to do as my father wished. I actually smiled as I pulled into my driveway tonight and was glad to be home and I felt at peace. So after Christmas I will help my sister move into the home built by my Grandparents and handed down by my father to her, and I hope that each night as she pulls into the driveway she smiles and is happy to be home................

And life goes on...

2007-10-20T13:35:00.000-07:00

Where did I leave off last....Hmmmmmm...depressed! Well imagine that I'm still depressed from lack of sleep...So I'm off to have a nap. Maybe something brilliant will come to me in my dreams!

I'm Haning in there!

2007-09-21T13:03:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder how....I do have to admit things have been really crappy since the death of my father and with the passing of my Grandfather 10 months later and to top it off in April 07 I lost yet one more important person in my life. Jack, he was like a father to me and also my neighbor for 9 years. It just seems like death have been following me around and I wonder who death will come for next. It has been such a roller coaster of emotion for me. Just when I feel my grieving process has reached an end I have to start all over again.

I'm broken and am trying so hard to come to understand all that has happen. I feel that this is a first step...reaching out and posting again....so bear with me if I ramble....screw it! Its my blog I can ramble if I want.

So I guess I'm back...kinda...

Happy Mother's Day

2007-05-13T09:14:00.000-07:00

Please help me!!

2007-05-02T18:46:00.000-07:00

I know this is shameless, but if you could please vote for Miss Penny. I would be so happy! I know I'm probably the only one in the world that thinks my dog is the perfect dog. But with that smushy face how can you resist.

Vote here!!!

Have a super evening!

OMG!

2007-04-20T19:58:00.000-07:00

I have been gone way to long! I miss blogging...Has it changed? I have! Oh wait... I'm still a bitch! I'm doing ok. Just got back from a trip to DC & New York with 19 kids and 10 parents. Its was fun and fast paced. I myself would like alittle more time to enjoy things. The kids had fun except for the days the got the flu. That really sucked! Imagine being stuck on a bus with a bunch of kids & some parents throwing up for 5 hours! It was pure hell! Now I need a vacation to unwind from my vacation!

Hope you all have been doing well!

Have a super weekend!

Empty Can

2007-04-01T19:58:00.000-07:00

Today I went to where you spent most of your days
It was where I remember you the most
Where I spent many hours with you
Always working on something
You could always fix anything
My eyes scanned your tools
Untouched for over a year
As if you never left
My eyes came to rest on an empty Pepsi can
It was just an empty can full of cigarette butts to most
but to me it was so much more
It brought tears to my eyes as I picked it up
I shook it alittle and then
I could see you working in your shop
Making what was wrong right again
I touched your tools that still lay on your work bench
and I could feel you there with me
Today I wished you where still here.

Happy 2007 !

2007-01-07T13:42:00.000-08:00

It is my hope that this year will be better than the last. I turned 43, made it through the holidays with out my Dad and Grandpa. For me that was the biggest part. I feel that I can start fresh in the new year as old wounds heal and new memories are created.

Life goes on!

Penny meets Santa!!

2006-12-06T20:35:00.000-08:00

Oh Yes! I took Miss Penny to see Santa......Lords knows what I will do next!

Happy Hump day!!

Monday always sucks.....

2006-12-04T19:53:00.000-08:00

But my weekend double sucked! Some of you who read my blog may know that I have Fibromyalgia, if you did not know...Now you do...So to make a long story short it really really sucks, but after 6 years of having this crap I have learned to deal with it. To help control some of my pain I take low doses of medications and get lots of sleep. Lately I have not been sleeping well and thus having more pain. So I head off to my Doctor. He decides that maybe my meds have stopped working so he adds a med at night and changes another night time med. This worked well for 4 days. I started feeling yucky on Friday afternoon and by Saturday I was pretty sure I was dying Woo Hoo Lucky me!! So after some searching on the internet I realize I am in withdrawals. Within 2 hours of taking my old night time med, I start feeling human! Oh the JOY!

The internet is a great tool, but what I found while searching for symptoms of withdrawal from a medication was alarming, I was shocked that when I clicked on a link that sounded just like the information I needed, I was taken to a site that sold the same medication out of the US! No prescription needed!!!! Its like it set up for people to abuse prescription drugs, and that just not right! I just do not see how this can be legal.

Hope you all had a better weekend, and hears to a better week!

Update!!

2006-12-02T13:05:00.000-08:00

I have spent my morning updating my Blog roll. I have been gone for some time and it seems that some people have moved or just vanished! I hope you will all visit Hope for Taylor and send her and the family prayers or if your not into prayers just some good old fashioned thoughts!

I had a weird thought this morning. How is it that you can be sober in a room full of drunk people and they slur their words so bad you can hardly understand them, but if your in the same room and drunk like the others you can understand every word they say???!!!

So what to you think the reason for this is? Is it some kind of special language that only drunk people can understand?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this one!

Penny has no thoughts on this one, but I'm sure she would love to hear you thoughts on her new Polo shirt!

Have a super weekend!

FYI

2006-11-30T17:42:00.000-08:00

Ok............. people this is just a friendly reminder that it is NOT and I repeat NOT ever ok to put your child in the Microwave or any other major appliance that you may have!!

Thank you for your time!

Your prayers are needed!!

2006-11-29T08:34:00.000-08:00

For this very special little young girl and her family!!!
Please visit Taylor Parkers Blog !
http://taylorparker.blogspot.com/

I know I have been MIA for awhile now, but I hope to be back to posting soon again!

For my kids...

2006-11-02T22:59:00.000-08:00

I will protect you at any cost...I will do my best to keep heart break from ever touching you and when it does I will be there to hold your hand until you can stand on your own again. I will do my best to keep fear out of your life and when it creeeps its way in....I will be there for you. I will protect you from all the harm I can.......I will always be there for you, in everything you do and everything life throws at you. For you are my life and I would stand in-front of all who try to harm you..............and I will always be there to hold your hand......for you m sons...I will love you forever!!!!

Grandpa

2006-10-19T09:25:00.000-07:00

09/19/1914-10/16/2006
I will miss you forever Grandpa!

Penny update!

2006-09-26T05:54:00.000-07:00

That sweet little puppy I brought home has turned into a huge puppy! Here she is showing some love to Lucky!

Anger Issues!

2006-09-25T19:49:00.000-07:00

Yep I have them! Saturday night I was out with some friends drinking. I know drinking is bad....but fuck it! So anyway here comes this guy, with my sister to top it off, with a T shirt that says I'm not Mr Right but I'll fuck you until he shows up! So I proceeded to tell him off and have his ass kicked out of the bar. I wonder how many women find that kind of advertising appealing? OK...Besides my sister. I found it totally offensive and told him just how I felt.

I guess I can't be freaking Mary Poppins all the time!

See Ya!

That just sucks!!!

2006-09-13T20:11:00.000-07:00

I had a really great post for today....And then I forgot what it was!!!

If I remember it I will be sure to post it..

Have a super day!

No wonder I'm so pissed off all the time!

2006-08-26T10:51:00.000-07:00

I suppose my last post left some questions in your minds. Well imagine how I feel! I have spent many years seeing a counselor. He has been there for me when I felt life was out of control. The problem is I bounce in and out of counseling. I never seem to complete the task I have set for myself. Usually he will say something that either upsets me of pisses me off. So I stop going. The last time I went he explained to me how I was the forgotten child in my family. I refused to believe this. How could my family who loves me forget me? Sure my dad was an alcoholic, was mother is co-dependent. So what’s the big deal?
Forget me and leave me to raise myself, I laughed it off. Now his words ring true for me and I finally understand parts of it. Some parts I am still trying to figure out. I think I have done an ok job on the raising me part. I’m independent, have no addictions and have a good job. My kids are great, no real problems there just the normal teenager stuff.

I know the road ahead of me will be rough, but it’s a road I have traveled before, and in the end I know I will be ok. I love my family and I know they love me in the only way they can.

I'm still here!

2006-08-13T12:03:00.000-07:00

For those of you that have asked. I just feel I am at a turning point in my life and am at odds at which way to turn. I'm content with my life, just bored with it! I look at myself in the mirror and see and older woman and I know its me. I have to question is this all there is to life?

Thats about all I have to say!

Finally Done!!!!

2006-07-16T16:17:00.000-07:00

The new roof is done! Well almost some of the flashing still needs painted, but I happy with it! I really hope this solves the small raining problem in the house and the nice bats that used to live in the attic!!

I did this new floor in the bathroom! Its not a perfect job, but it will do!

Day# 3

2006-07-13T08:22:00.000-07:00

WOO HOO!! I have finally got some shingles. I think it looks awesome. I have been putting new flooring in my bathroom and that is harder than I thought it would be. All I have left is around the toilet and I hope to get that done today!!

Have a super day!!

I got wood!!

2006-07-11T18:13:00.000-07:00

Day #2 is complete and I finally have wood!!!
I know its just so exciting!!!!

Can you find me in this picture?

I could not leave you with out a Shot of Penny! She is now 4 months old and weighs 22 lbs!

Hope you all had a super Tuesday!

My top is off and I feel so exposed!!!

2006-07-10T14:36:00.000-07:00

Day #1 is complete. Tomorrow the will replace the rotten boards and lay the plywood!

A new day!

2006-07-10T06:31:00.000-07:00

Today is a new day, and I believe anything can happen. Over the weekend I was finally able to tell a certain person (#54 in my 101 list) how I felt and close that chapter in my life and today it feels like a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders. He has moved on to a new relationship, I wish him the best and I hope he has a lifetime of happiness with her.

In other news.....The day has finally come!! They are starting my new roof today!! After much rain and many delays!! I am so excited! So here is a before picture. I will post updates as the week goes by!

Have a super Monday!!

Long time no post!

2006-07-08T19:08:00.000-07:00

Seems like forever, but I suppose not. I have not posted lately due to my lack of interest in life.

I seem to have slipped into a deep depression and am having a hard time coming out of it. So I have done what I normally do...Worked myself sick...So I feel a need to vent, please bear with me I need to get this out!

I'm angry at you Dad because most of my life you where not there for me and when you finally sobered up and realized it.....it was almost to late...........And then you had to die on my birthday.

I'm angry at you MB because I loved you and when I told you goodbye you took the one thing you wanted by force...You had no right to violate me.

I'm angry at you RH because you are selfish and did what was most comfortable for you, and did not think about the hurt you caused the kids.

I'm angry at you BJ for thinking that you are so great when you are drunk.

I'm angry at you UB, because you can not even get you lazy ass here to see you father before he dies....I know you will be the first one with his hand out when he does!

Ok, I feel better......I need to go cry now................

Have a Happy 4th of JULY!!!

2006-07-04T09:30:00.000-07:00

I'll wave to all of you, as you leave
when it's time for you to go.
As you sail from sea to shining sea
take the colors of your home.
Take me with you, wherever you go
keep me in your heart each night.
And if you forget what you're fighting for
remember me, in flight.
Take me out to the battleground,
and then tear me into shreds.
Wrap the bleeding wound with me,
and bind the aching head.
Plunge me into coldest water
to soothe the fevered brow.
Tie me across the shattered limb,
I'll support it now.
Let me dry the homesick tear,
and hold closed, the gaping chest,
for here, in the field, where hope is lost
I am at my best.
And then, burn what is left of me,
for warmth into the night.
So I may bring comfort, where there is need
and courage, for the fight.
My red is deeper, for the blood you've shed.
My white is purer, for your pain.
My blue will be bluer than the deepest sea
when you come home again.
Then I'll rise to the top of the flagpole,
where my colors are always flown,
and from there, when the war is over
I'll wave, to welcome you home.

Sprinkler Time! updated

2006-06-28T21:02:00.000-07:00

Behind my home is a park. It was once a school yard that I attended as a child. In the summer my youngest son and I would work in the back yard and wait until the sprinklers came on in the park and then we would run in them to cool down. We did not care who watched or what they thought.

He is 13 this year. Do you still think he will run in the sprinklers with me?

Happy Hump day to all!!

A Dogs Life!

2006-06-25T20:15:00.000-07:00

Today I will smile more, stress less and have a happy day!

Home!

2006-06-24T08:49:00.000-07:00

The best part of traveling is coming home!

Vegas was Vegas....Hotter than hell, but then its hot at home too, but its diffrent!

So I'm gonna kick back, relax and enjoy my weekend!

Have a great one!

Word for the day

2006-06-20T21:31:00.000-07:00

What is defeat?...

Nothing but the first step to something better

Wendall Phillips

If this is true my life should be fucking great!

So maybe I'm in a pissy mood. Its my mood and I'm keeping it!

Ok so here is a new picture of Penny. But I'm still in a pissy mood.

I'm off to Vegas.....I'll have a great time at my fucking meetings but at least I'm close to Margaritaville!!! Thank GOD for Jimmy Buffet!

Happy Fathers Day!

2006-06-18T14:16:00.000-07:00

Happy Fathers day DAD! I miss you and I love you!

???

2006-06-17T06:52:00.000-07:00

I have not posted for awhile.......Life has kept me very busy. My new roof is still not on yet. It has begun to really piss me off! The contractor I picked came highly recommended, so this delay after delay is just not right. July 10th is the new start date and if they delay it again, I will hire someone else.

My grandfather is still in the resthome and his biopsy results came back and they think he has lymphoma. So while what every monster is eating away his memories the cancer will eat away his body. I pray he is not in pain and the end comes peacefully for him.

Well I'm off to clean up more puppy poop and them its work all weekend for me. I have a ton of bookwork to complete. Then I'm off the Vegas next week for business.

Have a super weekend!!

How Sweet!

2006-06-05T19:12:00.000-07:00

Here is Penny at her finest! Like I have said before her favorite chew toy is my arm. But I have found the answer!!! Those really hard chew bones for dogs! She has already eaten 2 and I plan to buy a whole case. Apparently English Bulldogs are very aggressive chewers! Now if I could just get her to poop on the puppy training pads I think we will be just fine!

Sleepiness nights!

2006-06-04T04:46:00.000-07:00

Yes I have had a few lately. I find myself waking up at 3am or so and can't go back to sleep. It really sucks on work nights. Weekends is better for sleepless nights cause you can always have a nap the next day. It got better for awhile but it seems to have come back.

I went shopping yesterday and cried all the way home, not because I spent too much money, but because I knew I would stop and visit my Dad on the way home. I have been avoiding going there and knew I had to buck it up and just do it. So as I sat by his grave, I gave myself away to a good healthy cry. I guess I half expected to ground to be turned up from my father spinning in his grave over the recent events caused by my step-mother. I guess I have not mentioned all the legal crap that's going on. It just my father had a living trust set up and things where going great. We all agreed that Dads wishes should be carried out as stated in his trust. Where it all went haywire, I have no clue.

My Grandfather is still in a resthome and has good days & bad days. My step-Grandmother does not want him to return home because having 24 hour home care is a violation of her privacy. He is her husband, if my husband was old and ill and I could spend every minute we had left together I would not care about my privacy. I would care about my husband, and its his ranch, which he worked so hard to farm. He wants to go home.

I just do not get it. We are not asking for everything, just some of my father family things, photos and such. We went last Sunday to my dads place to put some things in the shop and my step-mom called the police. She has life estate in the home, which we did not enter, but the rest of the property now belongs to my sister she has every right to be there. Its what my father wanted. Yet we are treated like criminals.

I made a promise to myself yesterday as I sat by my fathers side, that I would do everything within my power to save my boys from having to go through this kind of hell.

SHIT!

2006-06-01T18:42:00.000-07:00

I mean real shit! How much can one small puppy shit?! Don't get me wrong, I love Penny to death....But For The Love Of GOD!!!!!! Shit on the puppy training pads! Is it too much to ask!

So my mom talks me into buying this book titled Cesar's Way. She saw this guy on some TV show and " he just works wonders with dogs, he is a Dog Whisperer!" So last night I settle down to see how I can relate to Penny on a canine level. All is good...Until Penny decides to bark her cute little head off until I pick her up and place her in my bed, now back to the book...Wait Penny NO! Do not chew on my arm! NO! I get up and get her one of her many chew toys, back to the book it starts out good stating I need to let Penny know who is boss.....Wait Penny NO! Do not eat the book!!!! Needless to say I'm only on page 4 of the introduction. The back pages are not too badly chewed, just the cover a little. I will try it again tonight, but I might just say hell with it and let her eat the book if it keeps her from chewing on my arm!!!

Adventures in Space!

2006-05-31T10:24:00.000-07:00

No I have not been to the moon! I'm talking about MySpace. I created a profile thinking it would be like blogging here...Boy was I wrong! Its just a free on-line hook-up site. I had married men email me! The only good thing was I reconnected with some family members, so it was not all a waste of time. I just deleted my profile and came back here, where the conversation is much more interesting. I hope you can all forgive me!!

Have a super hump day!!

Word for the day!

2006-05-20T06:41:00.000-07:00

There is only one road to true human greatness:

through the school of hard knocks.

Albert Einstein

I graduated with honors!

Happy Mothers Day!

2006-05-13T06:27:00.000-07:00

Had to share some new pictures with all of you!

Have a great weekend and a Happy Mothers Day!!

OMG!

2006-05-11T08:40:00.000-07:00

Please tell me its not true!!! Even though I watched it myself, I still can not believe that Chris is gone from American Idol! Who in their right mind would choose Taylor over Chris. I'm in total shock right now. It is just so freaking unbelievable!

I think I need the day off!!!

She is finally here!

2006-05-06T17:11:00.000-07:00

Penny arrived this morning at the airport and had a safe flight. She is just beautiful and has taken to our family well. She even had a little romp in the sprinkler!

I spent the week in Las Vegas on business and am so glad to be home. I took my sister with me and we had a great time. It was her first trip to Vegas and she won $1000 right as we where leaving the hotel for the airport. I was so excited for her. I came home $500 ahead so not a bad trip.

My grandpa is getting stronger and I hope we can have him back at his ranch soon.

Hope you all have a great weekend!!

Grandpa Update!

2006-05-02T05:45:00.000-07:00

Well, as of yesterday my Grandpa walked, with the aid of a walker 75 feet!! He is eating and drinking, and getting stronger. They have stopped giving him morphine and he seems to have come somewhat back to reality. As soon as he is strong enough, we are going to get him back to his ranch so he can be home and happy!

Thanks for all your support!

Have a great and wonderful week!

2006-04-30T08:16:00.000-07:00

Just to let you know, I have not dropped off the face of the earth. I'm still alive and kicking.

My family has been taking up much of my time. My Grandfather is now in a rest home and it has broken my heart. He wants to go home, but my evil step-grandmother does not want him there. Its his ranch, he wants to die there. So he has chosen not to eat or drink. He will not keep his IV in, which at this point is the only thing keeping him alive. He will not take his medications. We have done all we can to explain to him that in order to go home he needs to do what the doctor wants, but his mind is going to another place. It kills me to see him suffer so.

Well I'm off to visit my Dad, his headstone is finally in place, and I need to see him.................

Long time no post!

2006-04-20T20:15:00.000-07:00

Been sooooo busy!!! Looks like spring has finally sprung! Thank God for that!

Penny is now almost 6 weeks old and almost ready to make the flight out to California! We are so excited to welcome her as a new addition to our family!

Speeking of new additions Below is my oldest son newest addition.

My oldest son has been shopping for a new truck and here it is! Its a beauty!

Hope you are all enjoying the great weather!

Have a super week!!! Ot at least whats left of it!

2006-04-16T20:57:00.000-07:00

I hope your day is filled with family and friends!!!

Assorted Babble: BEWARE Peophiles, Child Molesters-The Blog World is Watching#links#links

2006-04-15T05:35:00.000-07:00

Assorted Babble: BEWARE Peophiles, Child Molesters-The Blog World is Watching#links#links

I have linked this post from Suzie. I feel it is very important that we do as much as we can to shut these sites down. Yes I believe in free speech, but this is just wrong!!!!

Busy!!

2006-04-11T08:15:00.000-07:00

Long time no post!

I have been super busy. My Grandfather had to go to the hospital this weekend. It was scary. He is 91 and starting to be forgetful. He injured his back and was having muscle spasms. He is home and resting. I know he is old and will eventually pass, but I am not ready for that. I'm still missing my Dad real bad.

Yesterday was really sucky! Over the weekend we had our cube at work expanded.....bigger cube & a raise....I'm moving up!!! So yesterday I tried to turn on my computer and I got *gasp* the BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH! My hard drive is shot and will need to be replaced. I know..it sucks big time. You do not realize how much we rely on computers until your is gone!

Hope you all have a super Tuesday!!

Guess what??

2006-04-07T20:08:00.000-07:00

I'm expecting!!!

A baby you ask?

Hell no......

My fellow bloggers, I would like to introduce you to Penny. Penny is 4 weeks old and currently lives in Oklahoma. She is an English Bulldog and will be totally spoiled in my home.
Check out Blackfork English Bulldogs. You can see Penny and her brothers & sisters.

Have a super weekend!!!

Happy HNT!

2006-04-06T21:43:00.000-07:00

Happy HNT!

Life is just that way!

2006-04-05T18:00:00.000-07:00

Life is turning back to normal after last weeks small detour. It feels great to just sit and enjoy the evening.

Thanks for all your kind words.

Been gone!!

2006-04-03T06:42:00.000-07:00

What's the easiest way to cure your own pain? Have your child call and say he is in pain.

The call came Wednesday about 3pm, as I rushed over there feeling not my pain but fear for my son. I hoped it was just the flu that myself and his brother had both had. But when I say the look on his face I knew it was more than that. So after 2 trips to two different hospitals my son had his appendix removed Thursday night. He is home and resting and I am finally back to work!

I will post more later when I have time.

Have a super Monday and I hope you did not forget to move your clocks ahead 1 hour!!

Why?

2006-03-29T10:19:00.000-08:00

Day 3 of my flu, I'm starting to feel better but the illness has caused my FMS to flare big time. I don't often speak of my illness here because I choose to ignore it and it makes it better for me. But while battling a common flu turns into a major fight, I feel the urge to bitch just a little.

Fibromyalgia is a nasty thing to have. There is no cure and no proven treatment that's works 100%. Trust me I have tried them all.

Fibromyalgia Syndrome (FMS) is often called the "invisible disease," because outwardly, we may look perfectly healthy. Inside though, we may have intense pain throughout our bodies, we may be constantly fatigued and weak, we may be dizzy, confused, lacking sleep, suffering digestive disorders, and generally living a poor quality of life. There is no known cure for Fibromyalgia, but there are ways to treat the symptoms, to improve that quality of life.
FMS is a type of neurotransmitter disorder, in which the pain-signals that our brains receive are intensified, and our muscles do not get the healing nutrients they need. The current diagnosis is usually made by a Rheumatologist who will find 11, or more, "Tender Points" on your body.

I have had this illness since 1998 and generally deal with it well. I refuse to take pain meds and rely on mediation and basic meds to make it through each day. Somedays are better than others. Today is a bad day, I'd much rather be at work instead of sitting here in pain. Sometimes the pain is so bad I lay awake and cry and wonder why. Why me? No I'm not looking for sympathy. Just venting, and it does feel good to vent!!!

Ok I'm done bitching. Have a super hump day!

EEEWWWW!!!!

2006-03-28T09:43:00.000-08:00

I have the flu and it sucks! My whole body hurts and I think I my die soon..........I have not been able to eat since Sunday night. I'm getting lots of rest and drinking fluids and they are finally staying down, so I must be getting better. I sure don't feel better.

Hope you all are having a better week than me!!

2006-03-26T08:19:00.000-08:00

When I count my blessings,

I count you twice.

Irish Proverb

2006-03-25T07:15:00.000-08:00

Live in the present.
Do the things that need to be done.
Do all the good you can each day.
The future will unfold.

Peace Pilgrim

Have a super weekend!!

Half Nekkid Thursday!

2006-03-23T19:34:00.000-08:00

Happy HNT!

Life is just that way!

2006-03-22T18:53:00.000-08:00

I have been so busy. I just have not had the time to blog or even have a moments rest. So tonight I'm resting. Until American Idol comes on! Yes I'm hooked...Thanks Tina!!! Spring has arrived and brought many changes. I just wish the weather would clear up so I could get some yard work done. I have been shopping for a new roof, and hope it will be up or should I say on soon. Then I am putting in a new fence!! I can't wait. My dog is going to love it!!

Work has been ok...Its travel time, which sometimes can be fun and sometimes a pain. This month both of my trips have been ones I can drive to. That makes it so much easier, unless its snowing!

My youngest son turned 13!!! He is a teenager now! What the hell am I gonna do?!!!! I suppose I made it 13 years rasing him alone I have to just keep on keeping on!

Hope all has been well with you.

I'm still hanging in there!!!

DO YOU REMEMBER A TIME WHEN...

2006-03-20T06:04:00.000-08:00

Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-moe"?
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "Do Over!"?
"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest?
Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening?
It wasn't odd to have two or three "Best Friends"?
The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was "cooties"?
Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot?
A foot of snow was a dream come true?
Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute commercials for action figures?
"Oly-oly-oxen-free" made perfect sense?
Spinning around, getting dizzy, and falling down was cause for giggles?
The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team?
War was a card game?
Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle?
Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin?
Water balloons were the ultimate weapon?

If you can remember most or all of these, then you have lived!!!!!!! ..the perfect age is somewhere between old enough to know better and too young to care.

Pass this on to anyone who may need a break from their "grown-up" life .. I double-dog-dare-ya

You

2006-03-19T19:38:00.000-08:00

You called today. The sound of your voice instantly brought me to tears, because I knew there are hundreds of things I want to say, but I'm afraid. So I took the only road I know and was not kind. I'm sorry....I don't know why I do it........

Word for the day!

2006-03-19T08:10:00.000-08:00

Any intelligent fool can make things bigger,

more complex, and more violent.

It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction.

Albert Einstein

Half Nekkid Thursday!

2006-03-09T20:14:00.000-08:00

I know its lame, but this is all I have!!! I have been so busy. I hope to get back to my regular posting soon!!

Happy HNT!

TGIF

2006-03-03T08:47:00.000-08:00

The best things in life are nearest:
Breath in your nostrils,
light in your eyes,
flowers at your feet,
duties at your hand,
the path of right just before you.
Then do not grasp at the stars,
but do life's plain, common work as it comes,
certain that daily duties and daily bread are the sweetest things in life.

Robert Louis Stevenson

Have a super weekend!!!

I forgot!!!

2006-03-02T15:54:00.000-08:00

Happy HNT!

???????????

2006-02-28T01:59:00.000-08:00

Far Away Lyrics

All The Right Reasons :Nickleback

This time,

This place

Misused,

Mistakes

Too long,

Too late

Who was I to make you wait

Just one chance

Just one breath

Just in case there’s just one left

‘Cause you know, you know,

you know

That I love you I have loved you all along

And I miss you

Been far away for far too long

I keep dreaming you’ll be with me and you’ll never go

Stop breathing if I don’t see you anymore

On my knees, I’ll ask

Last chance for one last dance

‘Cause with you, I’d withstand

All of hell to hold your hand

I’d give it all I’d give for us

Give anything but I won’t give up

‘Cause you know, you know, you know

That I love you I have loved you all along

And I miss you

Been far away for far too long

I keep dreaming you’ll be with me and you’ll never go

Stop breathing if I don’t see you anymore

So far away

Been far away for far too long

So far away

Been far away for far too long

But you know, you know, you know

I wanted I wanted you to stay

‘Cause I needed I need to hear you say

That I love you I have loved you all along

And I forgive you

For being away for far too long

So keep breathing

‘Cause I’m not leaving

Hold on to me and never let me go

If you had that one last chance to make a wrong right.

Would you take it?

No matter the outcome?

2006-02-25T09:18:00.000-08:00

Music....

gives wings to the mind,

a soul to the universe,

flight to the imagination,

a charm to sadness,

a life to everything.

Plato

Half Nekkid Thursday!

2006-02-23T19:08:00.000-08:00

Happy HNT!

Family Dinner

2006-02-22T05:56:00.000-08:00

Tuesday nights my family gets together and has dinner. My mother decided we should do this after my dad passed away. Sometimes we go out, sometimes we take turns cooking. I was going to pass on dinner last night but decided it was what I needed to do. So I cooked Scampi for my family! My mother and I even broke out the Miluakee's best and shared some of that nasty stuff. My mom and I seldom drink, so one was enough for us.

Which brings me to another point. Some people assume that just because I own a bar, I must be a heavy drinker. This makes me mad, coming from a family of alcoholic's I pride myself that I did not fall into this trap. Why do people do that?

So tonight I will start back into my exercise routine. I have decided to fight my depression instead of letting it take me down.

Have a super Hump Day!!

Sick!!

2006-02-21T08:11:00.000-08:00

I spent my 3 day weekend sick with a cold!! It seems like it will never end. I did manage to get the house clean and do laundry. So now I am at work and I feel like I was robbed of my weekend. It sucks!

The high light of my weekend was picking out my dad's headstone. Ok I admit I am depressed. I really do not post about my private feeling on here, but the depression has grabbed hold of me and I can't shake it. I am no stranger to it, and usually I can handle it. It just feels so overwhelming right now.
I find it easier to hide from the world, put on the happy smiley face, so you can't see my pain. I'm tired and I just want to sit and cry!

TGIF!!

2006-02-17T09:41:00.000-08:00

Three day weekends.....got to love them!!!

Have a super weekend!!

Half Nekkid Thursday!

2006-02-16T05:00:00.000-08:00

Today I want to hide from the world................

OMG!!

2006-02-15T06:02:00.000-08:00

Guess what I got for Valentine's Day?!!!!!!

Give up??!!!!

I actually received one of those heavy breather phone calls!!!!

That kind of stuff scares the shit out of me!!!

I hope you all had a better V day!

Have a super hump day!!!!

Happy Valentine's Day!!

2006-02-14T06:10:00.000-08:00

Hope you all have a super day!!!

Do I have to work?!!

2006-02-13T05:57:00.000-08:00

I actually got off my ass and did something this weekend! Saturday was super busy. I fixed my chainsaw. The new chain that someone put on for me was on backwards! It wont cut shit that way. So I fixed it and then decided to trim my Pomegranate tree. Well it got a good trimming. Nothing like a little chainsaw therapy to start out your day!

Both of my boys are sick and my sister also. But that did not stop us from attending the Annual Youth football crab feed. I actually won a manicure and a nice cold 12 pack of Milwaukeaa's Best (YUCK YUCK YUCK).

Spent most of Sunday shopping! Got to love that!

Well I suppose I should get ready for work!

Have a super Monday! (I know mine will suck)

TGIF!

2006-02-10T06:25:00.000-08:00

Nothing in the world is more valuable

than every moment of your life.

Hazrat Inayat KhanGayan

Now that we have that established! We can all go out and get drunk!!!

But remember this one small thing.

If your drinking to forget

Please pay in advance!

Your local bar owner thanks you!

Have a super Friday!!

Half Nekkid Thursday!!!

2006-02-09T21:08:00.000-08:00

Ok! So I tried to be creative and this was all I could come up with!!!

Join in in the fun! Click the Half Nekkid Thursday button>>>>>>>>>>>

Happy HNT!!

Useless Information!

2006-02-07T08:40:00.000-08:00

As of 2/7/2006 11:37:14 AM EST
You are 42 years old.
You are 506 months old.
You are 2,197 weeks old.
You are 15,379 days old.
You are 369,107 hours old.
You are 22,146,457 minutes old.
You are 1,328,787,434 seconds old.

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 6.01917808219178 years old. (You're still chasing cats!)

There are 327 days till your next birthday on which your cake will have 43 candles.

Those 43 candles produce 43 BTUs,or 10,836 calories of heat (that's only 10.8360 food Calories!) .You can boil 4.91 US ounces of water with that many candles.

http://www.paulsadowski.com/birthday.asp

Horoscopes

2006-02-06T09:51:00.000-08:00

Yes I do read my Horoscope everyday: Below was mine from yesterday!

What's absolutely necessary to your life and happiness? You might be surprised at what makes the list and what doesn't. (Hint: Fancy cars that go very fast are, surprisingly, not on there.) It's time to pare down.

I actually have been thinking about trading in my car for a nice family sedan. Its just me and my youngest son. So I though it was funny that it was in my Horoscope. So I put some more thought into it and decided:

FUCK IT!!! Its my mid life crisis. I'm keeping it!!!!

Have a super Monday!!!

Word for the day!

2006-02-03T06:17:00.000-08:00

Even if you have a lot of work to do,

if you think of it as wonderful,

and if you feel it as wonderful,

it will transform into the energy of joy and fire,

instead of becoming a burden.

Tulku Thondup Rinpoche
The Practice of Dzogchen

Usually my "words for the day" motivate me.

I think this one is a crock of crap!

Thank God its Friday!!!

Half Nekkid Thursday!!

2006-02-02T21:46:00.000-08:00

Thought I would show some legs this Thursday!!! I posted 2 because I have been a bad blogger lately!!!!!

Have a super HNT!!!

WOO HOO!!

2006-02-01T06:19:00.000-08:00

I finally slept all night!!!!!!!

Have a super Hump day!!!

Bad Blogger!!

2006-01-31T20:59:00.000-08:00

I have been so bad at blogging lately. Just not enough time in the day to get it all in. My youngest son is still ill and we had to make another visit to the doctor today. Hopefully his new meds will do the trick.

Work has kept me busy...busy!!!!

Dealing with my fathers trust has been a whole diffrent issue. I just want to shut it out. I really want my dad back, but I know that can not happen. So its just a day by day thing to deal with.

I still can't sleep through the night! Its driving me nuts!!!

It also seems someone from my past has decided to start messing with my life! Well they are messing with the wrong person! So back off!!!

Miss ya all!!!

Trouble creates a capacity to handle it....

meet it as a friend,

for you'll see a lot of it

and had better be on speaking terms with it.

Oliver Wendell Holmes

Have a super Tuesday!!!

2006-01-30T06:07:00.000-08:00

2006-01-28T11:05:00.000-08:00

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Texas."

And they say blondes are dumb...

Have a super weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Half Nekkid Thursday!

2006-01-25T18:21:00.000-08:00

80 MPH HNT!!!
See I can multi-task!!!

Join in on the fun Click the Half Nekkid Thursday link>>>>>>>>>

Have a Happy HNT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whatever!!!

2006-01-25T18:18:00.000-08:00

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Jillian!

Abraham Lincoln, who invented Jillian, was the only US president ever granted a patent!
Jillianomancy is the art of telling the future with Jillian!
The liquid inside Jillian can be used as a substitute for blood plasma!
There are 336 dimples on Jillian!
During World War II, Americans tried to train Jillian to drop bombs.
It takes 8 minutes for light to travel from the Sun's surface to Jillian!
Jillian is worth her weight in gold - literally!
Jillian has 118 ridges around the edge.
Jillian is the only one of the original Seven Wonders of the World that still survives.
Peanuts and Jillian are beans.

Blank!

2006-01-24T21:06:00.000-08:00

I have been sitting here looking at my blog trying to think of something creative to write. All I can think of is this:

See that angel in my header?

I wish I had an ass like that.

Have a super Tuesday!!!!!!

Monday...Monday!!

2006-01-23T13:38:00.000-08:00

Some days don't ya just want to say FUCK IT!!!!!

Nuff said!!

Woo Hoo!!

2006-01-20T04:33:00.000-08:00

Its finally Friday! My only problem is that is 4:30 am and here I sit at my computer. I really have not slept all night for some time now. I was thinking last night would finally be the night I slept....WRONG!!!

My son and I have both have had a cold for weeks. We both seemed to be getting better. Well at 3:30 am my son wakes me up in tears with an ear ache! So today I take my son to the doctor. Spend the day stressing about him. We'll watch movies and play games if he feels up to it. I have a feeling he will sleep most of the day.

As for work I have been really not been all the enthusiastic about my job lately, maybe its the grieving the loss of my father I don't really know. Maybe I'm just tired of the B.S. I enjoy a challenge with my work and the everyday mundane work bores me to death.

I was hired to help the company I work for get caught up on their audits. We have completed 4 years in the 2 I have been there. They where a tad bit behind...Don't ya think! Well things are up and running and I guess I'm feeling bored. I suppose I still have that wonderful software conversion to keep the challenge up.

I still miss my dad every day and end up in tears every time I pass his house on the way to work and then again on the way home. I pass this off as allergies! I hope it gets easier with time. My step-mom has freaked out. She always had been somewhat unstable mentally, but she made my dad happy and that was all that mattered to me. Her father passed away 1 week after my dad. So she has been hit with a double whammy! My sister is a mess because she has to handle my fathers trust. I have told both my parents Do not put my name on anything cause I don't want to deal with the crap. But now I have to help my sister so what's the difference?! I fear she is on the edge.
Its a fucking mess!!! I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep until its all over.....I know I can't do that...But it sure sounds good.

I have rambled enough!

Hope you all have a great weekend!!!!!

Thursday Already?!!!

2006-01-19T20:32:00.000-08:00

I hope you all enjoy this weeks photo.

Boobie shots are always great!!

I need to find someone to help take photo's for me...Any takers?!!

Join in on the fun click on Half Nekkid Thursday>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Happy HNT to all!!!!

My day in a nutshell!

2006-01-17T20:26:00.000-08:00

Today I learned from my step-mom the following:

I'm crazy!
I go on wild tangents!
I owe my father money!
I drive a $100,000 car!! (Ya right!)
I ruined the transmission in my step moms truck over 13 years ago! (I never have driven it)

Woo Hoo!!!!

I'd post more on my step-mom's mindless ratings, but really what is the point!

So how was your day?!!!

1 Year old!

2006-01-15T05:47:00.000-08:00

As of the 12th I have been blogging for a year now. I will have to say it has been a crazy year!!

It has had its many ups & downs. I suppose all in all I have really enjoyed it.

I know I have not been blogging to much latley, but will be back to normal blogging soon. The death of my father has some what slowed me down and then my son & I got the dreaded cold/flu!! Things seem to be returning to normal...Thank God!!!!

Thanks to all who stop but and read my mindless ratning.
Thanks to all the lurkers also!!!

Half Nekkid Thursday!

2006-01-12T06:05:00.000-08:00

I have been so busy with other things, I had to pull this old one out! Sorry folks I should be back up and running soon!

Have a Happy HNT!!!!

2006-01-11T07:15:00.000-08:00

It is a wholesome and necessary thing for us

to turn again to the earth and in the contemplation

of her beauties to know of wonder and humility.

Rachel Carson

Sunday Update!

2006-01-08T20:55:00.000-08:00

I spent all day resting and not doing much of anything. I seem to have caught a nasty cold.
My Fathers service was so hard, but it was amazing the number of people who showed up and shared their feelings and experiences. People I did not even know told me of how much my Father had helped them. I was very touched, to know that my Dad had touched so many people.

Thank you again for all your prayers. They have meant so much to me.

What a week!

2006-01-06T08:59:00.000-08:00

To say I have had the week from hell is an understatement. I want to thank all of you who have commented on my last post. Your words have helped for through a very difficult time. Today will probably be the hardest, as the funeral is today. My fathers death was sudden and unexpected. He had been in remission from cancer for 1 1/2 years and I am thankful for every day. He passed very peacefully in the home he was born in. My father always had a knack for making holidays an unforgettable event so I guess to die on News Years Eve and my birthday to boot was not out of the ordinary. It was just his way. I know right now I should be getting ready, but I can't. It's so hard to say good by.

Thanks to all of you, and may your weekend be a great one!

2005-12-31T23:01:00.000-08:00

There will never be a New Year Eve like this one...I just saw that on TV. I was not going to write about tonight because the feelings are still to new, but I feel I need to. Today is December 31, the last day in 2005. I turned 42 today and I held my fathers hand and told him I loved him and kissed him good bye, for the last time. Not just for the year but forever. My father passed away tonight. I miss him already. Tomorrow will bring a new year and a new begining, but I will still miss him.

J's Ramblings

My first handmade card!

Happy 4th of July

What a Life!!

Why?

A new chapter..

And life goes on...

I'm Haning in there!

Happy Mother's Day

Please help me!!

OMG!

Empty Can

Happy 2007 !

Penny meets Santa!!

Monday always sucks.....

Update!!

FYI

Your prayers are needed!!

For my kids...

Grandpa

Penny update!

Anger Issues!

That just sucks!!!

No wonder I'm so pissed off all the time!

I'm still here!

Finally Done!!!!

Day# 3

I got wood!!

My top is off and I feel so exposed!!!

A new day!

Long time no post!

Have a Happy 4th of JULY!!!

Sprinkler Time! *updated*

A Dogs Life!

Home!

Word for the day

Happy Fathers Day!

???

How Sweet!

Sleepiness nights!

SHIT!

Adventures in Space!

Word for the day!

Happy Mothers Day!

OMG!

She is finally here!

Grandpa Update!

Long time no post!

Assorted Babble: BEWARE Peophiles, Child Molesters-The Blog World is Watching#links#links

Busy!!

Guess what??

Happy HNT!

Life is just that way!

Been gone!!

Why?

EEEWWWW!!!!

Half Nekkid Thursday!

Life is just that way!

DO YOU REMEMBER A TIME WHEN...

You

Word for the day!

Half Nekkid Thursday!

TGIF

I forgot!!!

???????????

Half Nekkid Thursday!

Family Dinner

Sick!!

TGIF!!

Half Nekkid Thursday!

OMG!!

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Do I have to work?!!

TGIF!

Half Nekkid Thursday!!!

Useless Information!

Horoscopes

Word for the day!

Half Nekkid Thursday!!

WOO HOO!!

Sprinkler Time! updated